Monday, December 22, 2008

I think I have had an epiphany.

You know that one event in your life that suddenly changes your mindset? The thing that makes you commit to living differently?

Well, I feel like I had one of those. But that's it. I can't actually name an event that would have caused this to happen, but I feel results, as if it did. Suddenly I'm a far more organized person. I have more control over my life and I feel like all of my thoughts are in the right place, out of nowhere. I've met some interesting new people. Even my taste in music instantly changed at some point. I feel like a different person in a lot of ways.

This has eventually led to being a happier person who is more satified with who he is, something I drastically needed. I just feel right for the first time in ages. Isn't that weird?

Monday, December 15, 2008

George W. Bush: As agile as a puma.

I'm sure everyone has heard the story and seen the video of George W. Bush stealthily dodging a pair of shoes thrown at him by an Iraqi man at a press conference yesterday. It was pretty insane and hilarious to watch.

But I think the most epic thing of all about this incident is just how agile Bush really is. He's stealthy and nimble, very much like a cat. The first shoe comes flying his way like a heat-seeking missile, and he pulls a Matrix maneuver and dodges it. Then he appears to bat the second one away with his hand, or at least would have if the shoe hadn't missed entirely and hit the flag behind him.

Now I don't know about you guys, but if I was standing in front of that podium and saw that shoe flying toward me, I would probably freeze up and get nailed by it, or try to block it with my arms instead of stealthily dodging it. That took some skill. Ninja skill.

President Bush, I don't even like you. But mad respect for that epic shoe dodge. You, sir, did it.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Never underestimate the power of the internet.

Some of you may or may not have heard of the cult internet sensation known as Adam's Block, a channel on where a man in San Francisco named Adam Jackson placed a webcam outside his apartment's window pointed down at the street. It ran 24/7 and captured all sorts of crazy footage for six weeks.

In that short six-week time span, Adam's life would change. His exact location was compromised, local news stations did reports on his project, he very quickly became a very talked-about subject.

While his intentions were good (giving some of the donations to the Glide Church, holding fundraisers, etc.), he quickly experienced what can happen when a lot of people work together to ruin someone's life.

He and his girlfriend began getting death threats. Hooded men followed Adam to work. Flyers were posted around the neighborhood labeling him as a pedophile. Phone calls were made to his boss claiming the same. Much of Adam's life has been extremely visible to the public eye, and this made him an easy target to find.

I had the fortune of working as a moderator for Adam in his channel while it was broadcasting and I met some great people. It was a wonderful community before its popularity brought the bad seeds along with it. But all good things must come to an end, and as of a few days ago, the channel has been taken down, the cameras have been removed, Adam is relocating to a new home, and trying to fix what was starting to happen before the channel was taken down. Trying to get his life back on track.

The whole point I am trying to make here is that the internet can be a very dangerous place if the right people get ahold of the right motives and the right information. So please be careful out there.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

LOL, this actually made me laugh.

Jizz In My Pants - SNL Digital Short

I normally don't find these Digital Shorts all that funny (aside from Dear Sister, which exploded my sides from laughter). But this one provided multiple lulz for me.

In other news, I think I might be getting sick... again. My throat started getting scratchy earlier, so I promptly slammed down some Nyquil and I'll be passing out soon. Haha.

Streaming live, in broadband, on the intarwebz.

I have decided to do a lot of organization of my life online, and consolidate all of my different outlets together so there is a link from one to the other. In addition to this, I've started frequently updating my Twitter and Facebook statuses to keep track of what I am doing throughout the day.

Doing something like this sounds a bit stupid on paper, but I'm finding it strangely motivating to put what I have on my to-do list or what I am in the process of doing online, it's helping me stay more organized overall.

I also linked this blog to my Facebook, so when I post something on here, it will also be added to my profile as a Note. I duplicate my status on Twitter to Facebook as well, and even report songs I Love on on my Wall. So it's like Facebook has gone from being this friends thing for me to being the collaborative link to all of my internet activity.

It's amazing how something as seemingly simple as Facebook can have such powerful possibilities. Anyway, I'm still toying with it but I like it a lot so far, it's fun.

Friday, December 12, 2008

I got myself a Twitter

Check it out at

I'm going to try to keep this thing updated very regularly as well. If anyone reading this has an account, add me!

Procrastination: The Sole Cause of My Problems

Seriously, it is.

If I could completely eliminate procrastination from my life, I would be set. But for some reason, it destroys me every time and I somehow don't learn from my mistakes and I let it keep happening.

For instance, at this very moment I should be painting and finishing my portfolio for this semester. But knowing me, I'll sit here doing nothing for a little while longer and end up schlepping the thing together in a panic.

On paper, why should I even procrastinate? Either way, I'm going to have to do the work, and if I am putting it off by doing something more leisurely, I won't even get to enjoy it because I'm - get this - dreading the work I have ahead of me. On the other hand, if I were to go ahead and get the work done in a timely fashion, my quality of work would go up, I would eliminate stress, my grades would improve, and by the time I was finished, I could enjoy those same leisurely moments, only with a clear mind and without the stress that accompanies impending deadlines.

Oh shit, I just talked sense into myself somehow. God I'm an idiot. Time to get this last night of work out of the way before Christmas break.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Music Recommendation: Infected Mushroom

Seriously. I can't get enough of these guys. Psytrance is the shit.

Monday, September 29, 2008

I feel like a total dick.

So I'm sitting on campus with my laptop out right now, and I'm doing something so socially awkward that if I was anyone but myself, I'd be failing at life right now. But since I'm a fucking badass, I can do this. I'm playing DOOM while listening to Psytrance in the corner. And I look like a fucking champ.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Psytrance is the shit.

Hey all, I've recently begun to get into a subgenre of trance called Psytrance. It's different from traditional trance (as weird as it feels to call any form of trance "traditional") in that it doesn't rely on catchy hooks, lyrics, or verses to get its message across. Psytrance songs are rather linear in nature and can be quite long, relying less on memorable moments and more on the whole picture, which is rather constant throughout the whole song. This allows your mind to ignore its "expectations" of the music such as "Oh, the chorus is coming soon, I better get ready". Instead, your brain can think and flow freely with the subtle variations in the flow of the music without having any pre-cut expectations for what lies ahead.

In summary: It's good thinkin' music. Lawl.

If you wanna hear it, listen to my player over there, I'm sure that's all you will hear since that's all I have listened to all night. If it's working like it says it does, you should hear Psytrance playing right now.

Anyway, ciao, I justed to post my thoughts on it... that no one will read.

Monday, September 15, 2008

REVIEW: Hewlett-Packard Pavilion DV2910US Notebook PC

Well, my old, decrepit Toshiba Satellite A15 officially bit the dust. No OS would stay installed on it for more than 24 hours before complete system failure. After about a week of desperately trying to fix it, I gave up and got a new laptop.

I went with the HP Pavilion DV2910US notebook PC, and I thought I'd share my impressions with you.

This computer is a powerhouse for its price. I got a deal at Circuit City, $579.00 after rebates. Best Buy had the same laptop for $200.00 more, so I jumped at the opportunity.

Upon opening the box when I got home, I immediately was impressed with the care of the packaging. Minor, I know, but I seriously have not seen any piece of electronics so well-packed and organized. It says a lot about the company.

When I removed the laptop, I realized just how sexy it was. The lid is black with a very subtle carbon fiber-like design on it, with very light markings and designs that are pleasing to the eye. The whole notebook is very glossy without managing to show fingerprints badly at all. The palm rest is silver, featuring similar designs to the lid. It's one of the most attractive notebooks I have ever seen and is very compact.

Anyway, once I was done checking out the aesthetics, I opened it up and hit the power button. Immediately, all of the shortcut buttons along the top of the keyboard lit up blue. The cool thing about these buttons is that they are touch-activated and aren't actually buttons at all. One touch mutes the volume, as well as manual volume adjustment. This functionality is directly linked to the Windows sound volume controls, rather than being a separate volume control. This is very convenient, as all of the volume adjustments are handled in the Windows software and not physically on the machine.

Back to the first bootup. After a lengthy initial boot (configuring the settings for Vista), I was devastated to be greeted with an HP installer, which was dumping thirty pounds of shit (also known as "pre-installed software") onto my fresh notebook. Knowing I would immediately remove all of it, this process was annoyingly long, but I expected it.

After all of this finished and Windows started, I got to see just how much shit HP put onto my computer. I had two Yahoo! search bars - on the desktop. And so, I began the tedious process of removing all of the fecal excrements that plagued my new computer. Two hours later, I was all cleaned up and had a nice, blank copy of Vista Premium.

Now for what everyone cares about: the system specs and performance.

This notebook comes equipped with a 1.8ghz dual-core Intel Centrino processor, 250GB of hard drive space, 3GB of RAM, and (the only weak point here) an Intel Extreme Graphics video processor. As you can expect, everything is blisteringly fast. To this point, I have not had one single slowdown or delay with running any program. Everything runs amazingly smooth, and Vista Premium shines on this machine. The screen is beautiful and the overall performance makes this machine feel solid and fluent. The hard drive space is plentiful, and the 3GB of RAM make any program run effortlessly.

The LCD screen is absolutely top-notch. At 14.1 inches with a widescreen display, this laptop is compact - something I like in a notebook. The screen quality is gorgeous, shining brightly with extremely vivid colors and rendering everything on-screen with excellent sharpness.

The only "weak" point this system has it its video card. Intel Extreme Graphics has never been a great video processor, but this laptop is for school. I can play pretty games on my desktop PC. That being said, the graphical power of this machine is by no means "bad". I can play Portal quite well, even windowed. Not the most demanding game, but if it runs Portal, it can most definitely play recent titles like Half-Life 2 or other Source engine titles. You probably won't be playing any Crysis, but this is up-to-par with most PC titles up until about a year ago.

Overall, I couldn't be happier with this computer. Performance outside of gaming is absolutely amazing, and still impressive in-game. I can tell that I will be using it for a long, long time. Everything feels perfectly harmonious and responsive.

Here are the complete system specifications:

- Intel Core 2 Duo Processor T5550 (1.83 GHz)
- 250GB (5400RPM) Hard Drive
- 3072MB DDR2 SDRAM (2 Dimm)
- LightScribe Super Multi 8x DVD/RW with Double Layer Support
- Windows Vista Home Premium (32-bit) with Service Pack 1
- Built-in webcam
- 14.1" WXGA High-Definition Widescren BrightView Display
- Intel Graphics Media Accelerator X3100 with shared graphics memory
- Intel PRO/Wireless Network Connection
- 5-in-1 Digital Media Reader
- ExpressCard/54 PC Card Slot
- Expansion Port 3
- 6-Cell Lithium Battery

My final review score: 9.2/10

Friday, September 12, 2008

It's official: I need a new laptop.

I woke up this morning to see my laptop caught in an infinite loop. It would restart, show the Windows loading screen, blue screen, and restart again.

This is only about 20 hours after I totally reformatted it, haha. The thing is dying. Poor eternal laptop. Currently Ubuntu Linux is installing on it, hopefully it will work properly.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Oh, the irony, Microsoft.

Dear Microsoft,

Your "security update" you forced upon me did a lot of good. Upon rebooting afterwords, I was greeted to a black screen that said "MISSING OR CORRUPT SYSTEM FILE". I really enjoyed trusting you to protect my computer, only to brick it.

Needless to say, I reformatted... again. This time, Windows Update will never be turned on. Kay, thanks.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008


Sorry for not updating this blog since like, mid-July. Not like anyone read it to begin with, haha.

Anyway, I haven't been up to much lately, nothing really huge to note, other than the fact that I am now twenty-one years of age, and have since learned not to order a fucking Jack and Coke from a restaurant. $4.50 for one of those? Srsly?

With the nine dollars I spent to get very mildly buzzed, I could have been absolutely smashed for two days. Which I will certainly remember to do next time.

Let's see... what else do I have to add? Well, I guess I could post a link to this video I made, set to the remix of the Tim and Eric Awesome Show theme song by DJ Douggpound. Enjoy, Chip Chips.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Get to the jet skis, girls. Don't sit on them.

It's not funny!

LOL, yes it is. I dig the silent crying at the end.

Back from Tampa, with Tragic video!

Well friends, I just got back from Tampa and I had a great time seeing my baby and my friends. I wish I could have just stayed forever, but alas, I'm back in Dothan now.

Check out this epic crash I saw on the way down there on Friday:

I dunno exactly what happened, but it looks like the Ryder Truck was in the right lane and the Astro van was in the left. Then the Ryder truck merged into the Astro, knocking him nose first into the guardrail, as well as knocking his own back end to the right, sending him too into the guardrail side-first. This flipped him over.

I felt bad for the guy, his shit was all over the interstate. He was just sitting on the rail with his head in his hands.

Sorry about my HORRIBLE camera work, I got an evil eye from a state trooper walking in front of me when he saw me holding my phone up. But I still got a good shot of it. You can hear me say "Holy---" when I first saw the flipped truck. Haha. I think everyone was OK in this wreck; hopefully.

Oh, and also: my laptop bricked. I'm gonna have to save up to fix it. Until then, I might be blogging a little less since I'll need to do it from another computer. Fuck!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

A truly uneventful day.

Haha, I have absolutely nothing worth posting today, surprisingly.

Let's see... tomorrow I'm working at my old employer for a day in order to make enough money to go see my baby in Tampa. Hopefully I'll make enough to go. I miss her more than anything.

Today I sanded down the dent on my car, taped everything off, and spraypainted the area black so it doesn't show the paint coming off anymore. It looks a smidge better, but still looks like shit. Lawls. I also cut my own hair, that was a funny adventure I guess... and I ate lasagna. Other than that, I guess I vegged out. Oh well.

In order to bring at least some lawlification to this blog, here is a hilarious video I found on the YouTubez.

LOL. WAT. Until next time...

Tuesday, July 8, 2008


Well, Chippies, in a desperate attempt to save money during these times of astronomical gas prices that are continually on the rise, I have decided to join the economical group of motorists who call themselves the "hypermilers". What is "hypermiling"? It's a concept based on changing your driving style in ways that will increase the fuel economy your vehicle.

So anyway, after reading about this technique on a Focus website I'm a member of, I decided to look into it and discovered I read up on all the various tricks and now I'm trying them in real life as an experiment to see how much my gas mileage improves.

Now, I am by no means a rough driver. I normally drive in a civilized fashion, but I could definitely be more gentle on the throttle. I often will not waste my time getting up to speed, like most drivers on the road. However, I know I could be much more gentle, regardless of the fact that I would be accelerating much more gradually to get to my driving speed.

Here are the techniques I have been using on this tank of gas while driving:

  1. When accelerating to speed, I try to never let my RPM's go over 2500. I usually keep them around 2000 unless I need to accelerate a little faster.
  2. When I see a yellow or red light far up ahead of me, instead of continuing to gas it all the way to the red light and then braking, I just take my foot off the gas pedal and coast in gear toward the light, gradually slowing down and very gently braking as I approach the light. Often times, I'll still be rolling when the light turns green again and can just lightly get back on the gas without even braking, passing people still stopped at the red light who had previously passed me to get there faster. Not only does this actually put me ahead of some of these people, but by not using the brakes much or at all while approaching the light, I save gas that is normally consumed while braking harder.
  3. When accelerating, I try to avoid using the gas pedal. I get my car up to 25MPH gently, then turn on the cruise control and use the ACCEL button to accelerate. One press of the button increases my speed by 1MPH, so steady presses of this button increase the car's speed gently and gradually, but not too slowly. I find that the car's computer does a better job at stabilizing the RPM's than my foot does, so usually my RPM's barely go over 2100 or so while accelerating up to speed.

So anyway, I have been implementing these techniques on this tank of gas, and I think I'm going to have great results. Here is a comparison, shittily thrown together on MS Paint, to where I am now versus where I used to be at the same point.

Fuck yeah!

I'm still not sure how accurate this reading is, having only used less than a fourth of a tank of gas, but if it is, it's reasonable to think that I could possibly get 60 or more extra miles to this tank of gas compared to my usual gas mileage. I'll update this blog with my final results, but the idea of being able to drive that much further on a tank of gas is great. I sure could use some of that money saved on gas.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Free shit for your computer.

Hey friends, I thought I'd share a bunch of computer applications that are 100% free and do what a lot of paid programs do.

AVG Anti-Virus 8 - This anti-virus program is the shit, and it's free. It's all I use on my computer and I never have any threats.

Audacity - Free open-source audio editor. You can do all sorts of stuff to your music with this, including enhancement, conversion from one filetype to another, removing lyrics, and more.

Media Player Classic - This looks like an old version of Windows Media Player but don't let its plain appearance fool you. This media player will play ANY video/audio file you can throw at it, including YouTube FLV files and DVD's. Not only that, but it's nice and compact, and uses very little memory.

VLC Media Player - Similar to Media Player Classic, with a few differences. Personally, I prefer MPC but this will also play almost anything you can think of. - This set of office programs is an open-source clone of Microsoft Office. You can do pretty much everything you can with Office, only this is completely 100% free. It includes clones of Word, Excel, Access, and Powerpoint. It can also open all Office documents such as Word files (.DOC) and save to them as well.

Pidgin - an IM client that can run AIM, MSN, Yahoo, IRC, ICQ, and many others all at the same time. It's nice and simple, fast, and streamlined and I love it. This is what I use.

Trillian - Same kind of program as Pidgin. Also awesome, though I prefer the speed of Pidgin. Trillian, however, is more customizable.

Ubuntu Linux - If you are sick of Windows, this open-source OS is a free alternative with a lot of cool features. Definitely worth checking out for more advanced users.

Mozilla Firefox - If you don't use this already, or know about it, we have problems. Web browser that blows the shit out of Internet Explorer. Version 3 just came out.

Opera - Another great web browser. The new version looks really nice, but I still prefer Firefox.

Oovoo - A really cool IM client that focuses on webcam and audio chats over text chats (though you can still use text like any other IM client). I use this a lot and it's great. You can also call telephones from it, and for 15 bucks a month, you get unlimited minutes. It works pretty nicely as a replacement for a phone when you're at home.

So there you have it, free programs for you to have. Enjoy, lawl.

ATTN: Redneck who backed into my car and ran away:


Just got the estimate for my car's repairs: $764.

It would be over a grand if I got the dent on the hatch fixed. Thanks for driving your trailer hitch into the corner of my car, I really appreciate that. And that part where you ran away like a pussy who can't take responsibility for your own dumbass mistakes? I loved it.

One of the funniest videos ever.

I came across this video on YouTube a while back and I thought I would share it with you guys. It features one of the last truly hilarious comedians out there, Zach Galifianakis. He's playing his "brother" Seth. This happens to be a video collection of outtakes from that video. Fucking HILARIOUS.

"I named my dog Funyuns cause he likes to eat Funyuns all the time."

Sunday, July 6, 2008

REVIEW (CD): Tim and Eric Awesome Record, Great Songs!

As a long-time fan of the comedic geniuses Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim, I have always taken a liking to their offbeat, alternative brand of humor. Ever since I discovered them, the music in their various shows has always added to the hilarity.

Whether it be a ridiculously long and intense remix of another one of their songs or an intentionally shitty-sounding MIDI-quality track, they know exactly what makes some music funny, and satirize it right to the tee.

So anyway, knowing this about their music, there was no fucking way I would miss out on this CD. I fell in love with these songs when I originally heard them on Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! so just having them in their original format would have pleased me. However, to my intense glee, I found that not only were my favorite songs from the show on this album, but they had been enhanced and perfected for my listening pleasure. "Salame" never sounded so crisp and clear. Certain songs from the show have been remixed to flow with the rest of the album and not one of them is overdone to the point of ruining the integrity and charm of the original song.

Some of the tracks on this CD are absolutely crazy. DJ Douggpound did an excellent job with his contributions to the album, including a massive remix of th T&EASGJ! theme song that incorporates countless random songs and jingles from the show into it, throwing them into the track beatmatched with the Awesome Show theme song. On the first playthrough, this song is a T&E fan's cream dream. A fucking cream dream.

On top of the original songs and in-house remixes, a few indie covers of popular songs from the show are included on the CD, including covers by Built To Spill, A to Z, and The Shins. These songs are some of my favorites on the whole album. Also, as if the already huge track list wasn't enough, Tim and Eric added some bonus tracks to their website that you can download for absolutely free. Get those here for a free preview of the album!

Here is the complete 49-song track listing (after downloading the bonus tracks) for Awesome Record, Great Songs!:
  1. "Sports!"
  2. I Sit Down When I Pee
  3. Doo Dah Doo Doo
  4. Beaver Boys
  5. Salame (with David Hart)
  6. Time Travel
  7. Rolo Tony
  8. Poke On
  9. Petite Feet
  10. Sit On You
  11. Father and Son (with D.L. Hart)
  12. My Sister's Cute
  13. Hamburgers and Hotdogs
  14. Pumpers and Tumblers
  15. Pizza Boy (featuring David Cross)
  16. Come Over
  17. The New You (featuring Maria Bamford)
  18. Hearts (Featuring Aimee Mann)
  19. Beach Blast
  20. Stay In School (with D.L. Hart)
  21. Dirty Socks
  22. Horse and Buggy Ride
  23. The Snuggler
  24. All of My Life
  25. Raz
  26. Long Legs
  27. No Sunsets
  28. Shrimp and White Wine
  29. Marcama (with D.L. Hart)
  30. Here She Comes (Featuring Bob Odenkirk)
  31. Casey's Lost
  32. Lost In The Wheel
  33. Love Slaves
  34. Wipe My Butt
  35. Together Forever
  36. Awesome Show Theme (Feat. DJ Douggpound)
  37. Wipe My Butt (featuring The Shins)
  38. Come Over (featuring Built To Spill)
  39. Where's My Chippy (Featuring DJ Douggpound)
  40. One for Pep Pep (Flying Lotus Remix)
  41. Sports! (Sports Bar Remix)
  42. Sports! (Dance Club Remix)
  43. Come Over (A to Z)
  44. Salame Rock
  45. Snuggler 8 Bit
  46. Rolo Tony (Uncut)
  47. Cops and Robbers (A to Z)
  48. Big Ben 2 (A to Z)
  49. Crackers and Snacks

As you can see, that is a quite an offering for one album that you can find for $10-$12 online. For any Tim and Eric fan, this album is an absolute must-buy; no questions asked. For anyone else, watch the show a few times. If you like it, I don't think this album can disappoint. For me, it is fucking glorious. This will be cued up on my iPod for a long time.

Overall Score:

Preview Tracks:


Saturday, July 5, 2008

REVIEW: La Parilla Mexican Restaurant

Tonight, my mother and I decided to give this new mega-Mexican restaurant in town called La Parilla. It has pretty nice architecture and it looks more upscale than most of the other Mexican joints in town. Plus, it's nestled in front of the Target shopping center, so when you eat there you feel like you're actually in a bustling, successful metropolis!

First off, I'm not sure how many more Mexican restaurants Dothan can physically contain. We have like 144 La Bamba's and like 137 Old Mexicos. And that's on the Circle alone. You can't step outside without being draped in the permeating smell of chimichangas. And yet, despite there being so many of these restaurants, you can't deny their charm. Nothing says "authentic Mexican cooking" like having your food prepared by real, live illegal immigrants!

Unfortunately for La Parilla, being a more upscale chain-style business, hiring illegals is unheard of, so having your food cooked by Seth and served to you by Ricky will have to suffice. Needless to say, I was worried about the quality of the food when I was greeted by smiling caucasian faces.

So anyway, my mom and I had a seat and the first thing we noticed was that the fucking lights weren't working. I had to use my cell phone's screen as a lamp so she could read the menu. This problem was partially solved later, when we were bathed in flourescent light as what appeared to be backup lights cut on. 90% of the spot light bulbs appeared to have blown out, so these ruined the "mood lighting" when they cut on and made everything look blue. Regardless, we could see now.

One other problem with the atmosphere was the pure shittiness of the acoustics inside. Sound carries massively in there, and the sound of people talking was unbearably loud. I could barely hear my mom sitting across from me, but I could hear someone on the other side of the restaurant talking about having chicken stuck in their braces. If you go to La Parilla, know ahead of time that you are going to go deaf. It's louder than Hell, and I imagine you can't get much louder than Hell.

Anyway, I had to ask the manager for a refill since our waiter stopped showing up, and when we finally got our food, my mom's fucking burrito was cold and bland. My fajitas, however, were the fucking shit. I nearly had a full-on tortillagasm. The steak was tender and cooked to perfection and the flavor was great.

If you want good fajitas, go to La Parilla.

Unfortunately, the atmosphere and the mediocre service made the overall experience pretty unenjoyable. So Dothanites, if you want good Mexican food with an authentic atmosphere and an enjoyable experience, go to La Bamba near the Medical Center or Old Mexico near Westgate. They still own this town, and probably will for all eternity.

Overall Score:

REVIEW: The Taco Bell "Big Bell Box Meal"

OMG. You're about to experience the greatest fucking deal in food history.

Before I go into the details of this meal, allow me to say that I am just as disgusted by the state of the fast food industry as the next schmuck. However, sometimes I like to treat myself to a glorious heap of unhealthy garbage with taste as its only redeeming quality.

Thus, it was no surprise that during a late-night GTA session with my good friend Aaron, I began to get the hunger pangs. I had to get some food in my system or else the night would quickly begin to go sour. After thinking of my possibilities at 11:30 PM on a Friday night, I decided that Taco Bell was "WINRAR". At the drop of a hat, Aaron and I were on our way to our friendly neighborhood T-Bell.

We arrived and immediately saw the most glorious meal every produced on the menu. The newly released Big Bell Box Meal. Just what goes into a Big Bell Box Meal, you ask? Allow me to sum it up for you.

- 1 Queso Crunchwrap (It's good to go!)
- 1 Bean Burrito (Oh, fuck. It's huge and has beans in it!)
- 1 Hard Taco (It's the staple of any red-blooded American's meal!)
- 1 order of Cinnamon Twists (It's dessert made of a styrofoam!)
- 1 large drink of your choice (Mountain Dew, of course!)

Price: $4.99 - OMFG

Yes, friends. You read correctly. All of that food is available for five fucking dollars. Not only is it available for five dollars, but it also comes in a giant box that seems to be a huge, satirical statement about the state of the fast food industry with hilarious one liners such as "We told you this was big" printed all over it, as well as the instructions telling you how to properly lift your Big Bell Box Meal without injuring your spine. The whole meal is just an absolute joy to eat.

The centerpiece of this meal, the all-new Queso Crunchwrap, is fucking delicious. It's basically a hexagonal burrito-like object that is filled with beef, multiple types of cheese, and a hard taco shell. Not to be confused with its messier brothers the Crunchwrap Supreme and the 7-Layer Crunchwrap, this variant of the popular Crunchwrap actually is "good to go". For some reason, it holds its shape and the filling inside never drains downward to one side, avoiding a huge mess when you eat more than half of it. Until the last bite, my hands were clean and I didn't need to use a napkin. By far my favorite incarnation of the Crunchwrap to date.

The rest of the meal doesn't need to be spoken for. Everyone knows about burritos, tacos, and cinnamon twists and I refuse to write about them. All you need to know is that they go well with the Crunchwrap and they were prepared to perfection. I nearly came due to the sheer bliss inflicted upon my quivering tongue.

As expected, the Mountain Dew was popping fucking fresh and washed down my taco/burrito/Crunchwrap mush with perfect carbonation and flavor. Props to Pepsi Corporation.

With all of these factors in mind, I present to you my final review score of the Big Bell Box Meal.

Final Score:

Obligatory first post.

Hey there, friends!

Just thought I would start off this blog with the mandatory "I'm doing a blog!" first post. So, without further ado...

I'm doing a blog! LOLZ!

But seriously, with Independence Day having just wrapped up, one would think that I would have something of interest to write about. Sadly, I didn't do much. My friend Aaron was in town, so we basically vegged out with some Taco Bell and played GTAIV online.

It was the best night ever.